It will be dark, cold and wet in no time, with everyone just wishing they were back in a beer garden during the long, hot summer of 2018. Until then though, there’s still some random stuff to enjoy this week…
Power Up! at Museum of Science & Industry
From 3rd August
I’ve been to this for the last couple of years and it is seriously good fun. If you have a family – kids ‘n’ that – then this would be the perfect place to take them during the six weeks’ holidays. Not only are there loads of flashing lights and big buttons for them to press, but it will also give you the chance to take a breather from their incessant whinging and talking drivel about a fire fighting dog. If, like me, you don’t have kids, and the thought of seeing a 7 year old fumbling around with an N64 controller fills you with rage, they’ve got a couple of ADULTS ONLY nights on the 10th and 17th August. If anyone wants a shot at the champ with Mortal Kombat 2 – let me know losers.
FriendsFest
From Friday 3rd August
There was a big uproar the other month when newspapers decided that they wanted to blame Millennials for ruining something and so they chatted some shit about youngsters being ‘offended’ by the TV show Friends. What a load of bobbins. The only thing that can offend you about Friends is Chandler’s fashions, Joey’s ballooning waistline and Courtney Cox’s terrible acting – the rest is fair game. If you’re a fan (and according to The Sun that makes you older than 38) then you should get down to FriendsFest at Heaton Park where you can sit in Central Perk, piss about in Monica’s unrealistically large New York apartment and find yourself just walking up to a random stranger and asking them if they want to “go for a coffee sometime?”
Alan Partridge P’aha’ty
Friday 3rd August
Sure, I could easily fill this short paragraph with loads of super cool and clever references to Partridge, but I’m too tired and not clever enough. So, what do we have here? An Alan Partridge night at The Deaf Institute – that’s what. In what sounds like it’s going to be an amazing night, get your Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge set out of the cupboard and get dancing to some ruddy good tunes – most likely including Wings (the band The Beatles could have been), the best stadium band in the world – REO Speedwagon and of course Soft Cell. All played through many auxiliary speakers through a Midi Hi-Fi system, apropos achieving surround sound. Back of the net etc.
Walking With Dinosaurs
Friday 3rd & Saturday 4th August
Even though most of them looked nothing like what (not many) people saw when they watched that terrible new Jurassic Park movie this Summer, dinosaurs are every kid’s favourite thing ever. No matter how much they chat on about a fire fighting dog that has the dexterity to use a hose, show them a big bloody T-Rex at the Manchester Museum and they are instantly converted. A T-Rex would absolutely destroy any dog, even if it is wearing a safety helmet, hi-vis and doing something good for the community. Right I’m going to stop talking about Paw Patrol now and talk about Walking with Dinosaurs which will be roaring into the Nynex/MEN/Manchester Arena this week. It’s basically a bunch of blokes in dinosaur suits alongside animatronics but they look bloody brilliant. Your kid will love it trust me.
Eastern Bloc presents The Massey & Paulette Project
Saturday 4th August
These last few months have seen music legends Chris Massey and DJ Paulette work on many a collaboration including bashing out a couple of EPs and generally meeting up somewhere in Prestwich or Didsbury in order to bring some true musical goodness to your manky ear holes. This Saturday sees them back together for a FREE set at Eastern Bloc Records on Stevenson Square and if you’re a fan of all things disco and house – you’re in for a treat. In my new regular feature of this column here is some music to listen to that should get you in the mood…
Rear Window at HOME
From Sunday 5th August
A nail-biting bit of brilliance from Hitchcock here sees photographer Jimmy Stewart fuck his leg up in some sort of skiing accident and subsequently start perving on his neighbours across the courtyard. This film is quite possibly one of my favourites of all time, it’s definitely in my top 5 and so if you’ve never seen it, this opportunity to watch it on the big screen at HOME should not be missed. What’s that? What are your top 5 favourite films BB? Oh, okay then, I’ll tell you:
1. Lord of the Rings (all of ‘em and extended)
2. Robocop
3. Die Hard
4. Rear Window
5. The Thing
If anyone wants to come around mine this weekend and watch all of the above with me – let me know. Please.
Iron Maiden
Monday 6th August
For all of their fame and notoriety, I must admit that I don’t really know too many Iron Maiden songs and most attempts to ‘get into them’ has resulted in me getting a bit of a headache and switching my iPod back to the soundtrack for Mamma Mia. These fellas are fucking huge though and have been around for 40 years and have apparently recently released their 16th studio album. That’s a lot of songs to download off Napster for anyone looking to give them a try. There’s a few tickets left for this gig at Manchester Arena which I suspect will contain loads of fire, skulls, Jack Daniel’s t-shirts and general guitar bashing. Trying to write this I get the feeling I’m really going to struggle when I go to Satan’s Hollow tonight.
Seasonal Suppers: Summer in Lisbon – Randall & Aubin x Manchester’s Finest
Tuesday 7th August
Okay so there’s been a fair whack of hearsay and wild accusations going around this week and I’m going to set the record straight – I genuinely thought that the sauna was a Scandinavian Relaxation Centre. I’m not sure if that argument is going to hold up in court next week but hopefully the judge will be lenient. In the meantime, we’re all getting gee’d up for our event over at Randall & Aubin next week which I can assure you is definitely going ahead and looks like it’s going to be brilliant. It’s another Seasonal Supper shindig and this time they’re concentrating on ‘Summer in Lisbon’ so you can expect some strong Portuguese flavours, fresh seafood and plenty of amazing wine. You can check out the menu here and get tickets below if you fancy it.
The Bay Horse Tavern Comedy Quiz
Tuesday 7th August
Since I stopped reading newspapers my quiz winning ability has diminished considerably and it’s something that I’ve not yet managed to fully accept. When we went down to the first Bay Horse quiz a few weeks ago we came second to last which, judging from my past glories, was highly embarrassing. A man of my quizzing calibre shouldn’t be languishing down the bottom with ‘Dave & Karen’, no – I should be up there with the ‘Quizzy Rascals’, a team of overweight nerds who put down their specialist magazines for approximately 3 hours once a week to drink tap water and win £50 in cash. Well I’ve had enough – I’m going to go to the brilliant Comedy Quiz at The Bay Horse in the NQ this Tuesday and I’m going to win. Just watch me.
