Gods of Rap @ Manchester Arena
Saturday 11th May
The Gods of Rap are coming out in force this Saturday and when I say ‘gods’ I mean just normal humans with functioning human bodies and normal faces and that. To be fair the line-up for the night is mightily impressive – with Wu Tang Clan, Public Enemy and De La Soul smashing up the stage together but not together together – one after each other. DJ Premier will be orchestrating the whole thing, and to be fair – he’s worth the ticket price alone. What a lad.
5ive & a 90’s Party @ Manchester Academy
Saturday 11th May
Even though there’s only 3 of them, Five are still calling themselves Five. What a bunch of silly sods. It’s like S Club 7 calling themselves S Club 7 when only Bradley, Jo and Paul are in it. It’s like the Jackson 5 calling themselves the Jackson 5 when only Tito is knocking around on stage with his silly little fringe. Anyhow you’ll be well happy to know that Five will be at Manchester Academy this Saturday along with a proper wedding DJ who’ll be smashing out the 90’s tunes on his MiniDisk player.
World Buckfast Day
Saturday 11th May
Unbeknown to 90% of the adult population of Earth, Saturday is World Buckfast Day. The other 10% of us will be going absolutely crazy of the sauce and thoroughly enjoying ourselves like Rab C Nesbitt at a village fete. I should probably recommend a few places in the city where you should go and tuck into a bit of Bucky but if I’m being honest there aren’t that many knocking about. My advice for people looking to celebrate this auspicious day – head to that offy on Oldham Street, grab a bottle and enjoy yourself. I know I will be.
Handbagged @ Oldham Coliseum
Starts Tuesday 14th May
So this play at the Oldham Coliseum imagines what the weekly meetings between Maggie Thatcher and Lizzie II would have been like – taking a satirical approach to the whole affair for everyone’s pleasure. Here at Finest we don’t get involved in politics but I can imagine their conversations were pretty dry – two aging women chewing the fat over a cup of tea, scared shitless of the youth of today and their progressive views. I can also imagine there were a fair few Werthers Originals knocking about, the Queen sucking them until they were a thin sliver and Maggie biting into them straight away.
XS Malarkey with Hip-hop comedian Vince Atta
Tuesday 14th May
There’s always a comedy night on at The Bread Shed on a Tuesday and it’s always bloody brilliant. XS Malarkey started around 15 years ago in a bar in Fallowfield and has pretty much become the premier night for top of the range laughs in the city. This Tuesday sees Vince Atta take to the stage who actually does hip-hop stand up and has been called “the unstoppable force” by some bloke who works for a comedy website. It’s only a fiver to watch and you’ll also get another 3 comics on top too. Value for money and a fair few giggles – the perfect night I reckon.
5 Course Wine Dinner @ Brasserie Abode – A Tour of the Med
Wednesday 15th May
This month’s wine dinner at Brassiere Abode is going to concentrate on Mediterranean wines – so you’re going to bag yourself a tipple from some of the lesser known wine producing areas of Cyprus, Croatia, Sicily and Turkey. I’ve got a great story about Cyprus which involves an inflatable crocodile, a plate of jam on toast and two egg cups but I’m not going to tell it right now. What I will tell you though is that these wine dinners are mega – you get a stunning five course meal, loads of wine and some great company.
Overdrawn @ The Bay Horse Tavern
Wednesday 15th May
This week I ended up getting one of the blokes from Overdraw to draw my face when I had a handlebar moustache. You can see it above. Good innit? Such talent is wasted on me though, so get yourself down to the event at The Bay Horse this Wednesday and get stuck in with all of the artist types and see what they can do. There’ll be LIVE ART, illustration battles, £1 portraits and more – I went to the last one and had a bloody brilliant time – I’m going to this one too so I’ll see you there yeah?
Pilot Light TV Festival
Starts Thursday 16th May
So there’s this festival starting in Manchester this week and it’s all about telly. How good is that!? Answer: dead fucking good. So they’ve got a packed programme of events throughout the week including Q&A’s with Sean Locke and Benedict Wong for the brilliant 15 Stories High, words from Dolorous Edd from Game of Thrones before they play an episode and a massive party to celebrate 10 years of RuPaul. It’s going to be dead good so get involved.
12 Reasons you MUST visit this Manchester TV Festival in May
FAC 51 The Hacienda @ Albert Hall
Friday 17th May
The Hacienda is very much Manchester’s Beatles. When you go to Liverpool all they bloody talk about is The Beatles. John Lennon this, Paul McCartney that. Blah blah blah. Well, when anyone visits Manchester they certainly get the same sort of earful – ooohh Tony Wilson this, Acid House that etc. This Friday there’s a massive big night at the lovely Albert Hall all concentrating on that kinda vibe and I suspect it’s going to be bloody banging. Enjoy.
